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In the past, your social status was very clear to you and to others and established your worth. In modernity, self-worth is actually not clear at all.In some ways it is connected to your social status, but in many ways it is not.
The woman keeps a mental record of her biological age because it is her biological age that will enable her to have or to not have children. The age difference is one of the most outrageous qualities, I think, between men and women; culturally we allow men to go down 20 years, 30 years (see: Woody Allen) to find a woman, whereas women have to choose from their own age group, more or less, or older.
What becomes a sign of their masculinity is their social power, which has increasingly become the amount of sexual power they can display with women; having lots of women becomes a sign of masculinity.
If before men and women were pressed early on to have children and to have a family, you now create a situation in which the family is superfluous for masculinity, so the pre-modern creature in this social formula is the woman. Because in modernity women are less successful economically and are still in charge, culturally, of the children.
So in the same way that historians and anthropologists talk about the history of pain, even physical pain, and say that things feel different -- pain can feel different -- here psychic pain feels different.
Many women today are struggling with themselves and blaming their faulty psyche and their faulty childhood for not having been able to have a satisfying relationship.
She claims that these and other factors make modern relationships more difficult than in the past, especially for women.