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Some practiced daters have a standard letter they send to every single person they find even mildly attractive.Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to write a personalized message responding to specific items in your profile, not send a generic cut-and-paste letter saying, “Hey girl, I saw your profile and was intrigued …” Think about the hundreds of other people who’ve gotten the same letter, and decide whether you’re willing to accept only the barest minimum of effort.But once you’re at your first dinner date, you’re on your own.
People who employ this tactic generally aren’t tender souls who are afraid of rejection; they’re just not confident enough to be themselves.
Some brazen daters even post contradictory information right on their profile (“I’m really forty, even though I listed my age as thirty-five”), as justification for trying to show up in more searches for “men over six feet tall,” or “women under forty.” Presenting oneself in the best light is one thing, but outright lying is quite another.
Online dating was supposed to make it easier to meet and screen potential dates, but sometimes it seems as if it’s just added one more layer of effort that requires you to filter out the crazies to get to the good ones.
It’s great conversation fodder when someone displays snapshots of himself on vacation or out with friends, but it’s reasonable to expect at least one clear picture of his face.
If you receive an impersonal message that seems oddly like a form letter, it probably is.
If your date instructs you never to call on evenings and weekends or will call you only from a restricted number, there’s a good chance that she’s trying to keep you a secret.