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Once someone has been in a committed relationship everything changes a bit, especially if it was a long-term relationship or marriage.Asking out a friend’s ex is almost a certain way to end a friendship (especially if the friend wasn’t the one who wanted the relationship to end).Again the best practice is to talk about it first with your friend so you can sense how big of a violation this might be to them.Discover the 17 Secrets to the Male and Female Psychology by joining our email list.If you need to step back from the friendship for a while because it is too hard that is understandable but be fair and upfront about your feelings.For example, if you feel that you have shared too much with your friend about the crush and your friend dating your crush would hurt too much than be honest but also ask them how strongly they feel for the person and if the other person seems to be reciprocating.Discussing this situation in advance can help you avoid awkward situations or hurt feelings later. If one of you likes the person the most (such as a 7 or higher) the other would back off.If you are both only somewhat interested (such as a 5) than both of you can go for it because neither is too into him/her.
If you want to preserve a friendship than talk with your friends or roommates about how you want to handle it when both of you like the same person.
I guess the decision to date an ex really depends on how deeply you care about the friendship and how much you want it to continue.
Some singles will rationalize that once they are married they won’t spend much time with their friends anyway, whereas other singles will point out that most relationships don’t end in marriage so why take the chance of losing a friend for a temporary fling.
If your friend is only casually interested in your crush or is uncertain that your crush is interested in them than ask them not to flirt with or date them since the likelihood of the relationship going anywhere is low and it might distance your friendship.
If your friend and crush is very interested in each other and they really might be a good fit for one another express how hard it is and that you may need to be a little distant for a while but that you understand and just want them both to be happy.
It might hurt to see your friend flirt with or date the person, but the mature thing is to find a way to be happy for them.