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Our experts offered these 12 tips to boost your chances: That’s like saying, “You’ll find a job when you’re least looking for it,” said Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert and sociology professor at the University of Washington.It’s possible, but rarely happens.“For the most part, people who wait for a job are unemployed,” she added.Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus could alter the lives of men and women by keeping them out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages).Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating could transform lives and shape eternities. And we have a responsibility as men and women of God to be pro-active.No, I won’t talk with you more on the telephone beyond our one first call and some brief getting to know you preliminaries. (If it does, well, you need more advice than I can give you.) Nothing is as important as someone’s presence. But if Valentine's Day has you thinking about finding love, the holiday could be a good motivation to start.The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary.
Date with a Trajectory Toward Marriage This quote sums it up: That'll preach right there.Dating with a trajectory towards marriage doesn't mean you only date one person ever. So, my question is, "How does dating a non-Christian aid you in this? If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? That would be awesome, but it's not always realistic. "If you are a Christian, God isn't a piece of your pie. Why date someone who doesn't even have God as a piece of the pie? Have a List of Values and Don't Compromise Them If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off-ramp. You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse and is compatible with you. Just end the relationship and continue to seek the Lord. Again, please don't be a freakish weirdo and give Christians a negative label. My wife loves the Lord, and I can say with all certainty I wouldn't be following Jesus without her. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient or settling. But once you get into the relationship, you realize things aren't as they seemed. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left will be your spouse. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you and walk with you. It's dangerous riding on the road to marriage without an idea of where you are going. Don't sit someone down on the first date and interview them to make sure they meet all of the qualities.
Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: You will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god (more on this later). There is another dangerous mentality in Christian circles I want to address ...